Monday, 19 May 2014

Tales Of A Nigerian Man #Green Card Chase...The End.

Behind the wheels on the less busy road, running forty, I was in a hurry to get back home to my deceitful and adulterous wife. How could she have done this to me, and I thought she was the victim...all those tears...pretense...the deceit! She had the effrontery to stage a drama to make a fool of me in my own house...well, now Mitch’s house, if all that she said was anything to go by.

“That is Anna, my chief cook.”



“Damn!!!” how could I have been so stupid?!! Two things were on my mind, one of them was to strangle Euphemia to death the minute I walk into that house and the second...well, I still haven’t thought of that yet, but I sure knew it was going to be something disastrous; I just might set the house on fire, I just might.
Fifteen minutes later, we were on each other’s throat, Euphemia and i. she just kept screaming back at me, right in my face. I just had to control my anger, murder was out of the options; I thought about it as I drove into my house, I had no intention of spending the rest of my life in jail or worse still, bagging the death sentence...but I swore I do make her pay, she must!

“You put us right into this mess, Ben. You were never there!...”

“Oh shut up, Euphemia!”

“No, you shut up, Ben!”

“Don’t you tell me to shut up, you cheap whore! Just how much desperate were you to get screwed that you threw your dignity down the drain?...that son of a bitch, you had him vomiting on what is mine.”

“Was!” she corrected, she was not even making any effort to deny my accusations.

“You still are my wife, damn it!”

“Oh, grow up, Ben, you gave me up a long time ago, maybe I just had to let someone else have a try at what you failed in, did he not do bett...?

Furiously, my hand grabbed a substantial amount of hairs, enough to pull at her with. I threw her against the couch behind me as she struggled to get my hand off her hair...yeah, that’s right, she needed just that...to feel just what my heart felt at that moment...pain.

“You are hurting me, Ben. Let go of my hairs...Ben!!!” how more deaf could I have become? All I heard were voices in my head, screaming BLOODY MURDER!!...And the other sounding the alarm of jail terms. Reluctantly, I let go of her hair long enough to allow me descend on her, pinning her with my body weight...hands on her throat.

“I lost all I ever labored for back there, and now you have the guts to give my f*king house to your lover, my supposed best friend, now my adversary.” I said through clenched teeth, breathing heavily.

“I can’t brea..the, I ca-nt breath, ben,” like yeah, that was the aim. I wouldn’t be doing it right if she was breathing. The kids had gone up to the game room few hours ago, and they were never out until begged to, so I had no interference dealing with Euphie.

I was getting weaker, beads of sweat on my forehead; “what are you doing, Ben” a voice rang in my head, “...you are going to kill her, Ben...she is dying”

“Then let her die!!” I screamed aloud unconsciously in response to the warning voice. I tried not to look into her eyes, but I couldn’t help it; it was wide open, bulgy, all white...
I did not see it coming, the flower vase against my head...i fell off her, butt on the ground and back against the chair, stars swirling before my eyes, breathing rapidly and the warm blood running down the back of my head...blackness...just voices, unclear.

“Are you alright?...wake up... oh thank God.” The door opened few seconds later and I passed out.
I woke up three hours later to the silence of the night, clotted blood on my head, down my shoulder and on the floor where I had fallen...
For three days I did not see or hear from Euphemia and the kids. Her phones were switched off, the kids too. I had gone to see Mitch several times in those days and he had had me thrown out of the restaurant, I had to beg, for my own wife and kids. Where the hell is he hiding them? I could get him arrested and charged for kidnapping.

Two weeks gone, I had become so lean that my skeletal system was viscously visible; I hadn’t eaten, had not slept, how could i? I didn’t even know if she was alive, my kids...and Mitch seemed to be having the time of his life. I smelt like rotten fish and my unshaved beards didn’t make me look any saner.

That night, as at 7:00pm, I lay on the ground with my head propped by a pillow and an almost empty bottle of brandy in hand, I thought about my life, how wasted I had become. Regina, my American wife, had called me one hour ago to inform me of her intention to send the kids down to Nigeria, she couldn’t keep up with them...she needed space and time to herself, and the kids were taking all that up, and they didn’t like that she was bringing different men home, as little as they were, they always found their way to the police. She paid no mind to my objections, she was putting them in the plane the following week, the kids loved the idea, so that solved it, decision made!

I walked aimlessly down the road, drunk but not out of my mind...i wore my white shirt, three top buttons open, and my hairy chest out to the world...Who cares? I had walked for about one hour nonstop when a car pulled to a stop ahead of me, I walked past it...i couldn’t stop to answer the strange voice calling me and I did not stop to look back at the person coming after me, everybody should leave me the hell alone! Like I don’t have enough problems already.

“Come here men! Look how messed up you are...f*king eyesore. You stink...come here.”
He led me by the hand and I followed like a zombie, into the car...she was there, beside me at the backseat. Teary eyes...i was too high to say a word, I just sat there, eyes off the road...he drove on, not in the direction of my house.

He drove us to his house, my kids were there, and they hugged me so tight despite my stink. I just kept staring like a retard, not a word said...they did miss their dad. I was made to bath, and I went to bed in the visitor’s room afterwards; I had no appetite for food.

The next morning, Mitch had a talk with me, I was so sober...what did he not say to me? What name did he not call me? But for a reason unknown to me, I was quiet all that time, listening. He poured my wrongs out before me. Then I got to know...

Mitch had just come back from France when he heard that my wife had the house placed in the market, he had the money, and rather he bought it than someone else does. He didn’t need the house, he was married...Anna; that day outside the restaurant, she the “good evening sir” was directed at me and not him...i had thought wrong. Euphemia was all tears through the conversation.

“You owe me sixty million naira, buddy”

“You bought it for thirty.” I said stupidly, but calmly.

“Interest man, interest. And for the headache you cost me.” He wasn’t kidding.

I thought for some minutes, and then I decided to tell them about Regina’s kids, my kids. It wasn’t an easy decision, but she welcomed them as hers with a warning that Regina stays off permanently. Tears came to my eyes, she cried too. And I did see Mitch turn around to wipe the tears forming in his eyes. I did not cry for the wrongs that I did, not for the pain I caused her, not for her understanding...but for the fact that I almost lost the best woman in the world...the best family and...an annoying best friend.
“I love you, Euphie.”

THE END.
A big thank you to all who followed the series from the very first episode, thanks for your encouragement and support. Thank you very much Olatubosun Matty, May Emerald, una dey appreciated.(they never miss a post)
I take a bow.

Chidera Reginald

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