My feet felt cold in my shoes and my knees wouldn’t stop knocking against each other. I began to break sweats, lots of them. The metal against my chest felt too real to be my own imagination. I prayed silently inwardly, let no metal stray to my heart oh gracious God! Her lips curled into a wicked smile, her eyes on mine, boring into my soul like she could see me for the cheat that I was. She sat upright in bed, pulled her nightie’s fray over her laps as she stared intently at me. She spoke slowly and calmly, but inside that voice I could feel death rub against my skin from her every word.
“I warned you from the very start, Baron, you were never to go against my warnings, you shouldn’t have...”
“Forgive me ba...”
“Shut up fool!”
The man by my right pushed the nozzle of the gun harder against my chest. I did not want to believe it, but I did pee my pant a little. My heartbeat tripled and I couldn’t think straight. I was going to die, I just knew it. I was going to die for cheating on an older lady who was not even my girlfriend nor my wife.
“You think I pay you for you to go about screwing younger ladies with my money? I made it clear to you Baron, you screw me alone and no other. Obviously you needed a demonstration to take my words for it...”
I begged to no avail, it all started like a joke, a big serious joke. Tears rolled down my eyes as I pleaded fervently with Madam Garlic to spare my life. The two hunks pulled me towards her and dropped me to my knees. The palms of my hands against each other in prayer to her, not Madam Garlic, she wouldn’t be moved.
The hunks forced my trousers down my ankles and then my boxers. I wasn’t bothered by my nakedness; I had my life to worry about.
“I will do to you that which I do to all who mess with me. I will have my boys castrate you and then put a bullet into your chest.”
My slow and muffled sobs generated into wails, I was going to have my manhood sliced off and a bullet put into my chest, my heart. A heavy slap from the hunk on my left got my mouth shut. If I hadn’t seen him send that slap across, I would have sworn he hit me with a two by two plank. I tasted blood in my mouth from the cut on my lower lip. The other boys got off bed and helped hold me down with my back against the ground and a big hand clasped against my mouth to hold back the screams. The first hunk held my shrunken penis in one hand; I watched the other hand go up with a knife tightly held in it as it drew closer. I writhed in fear and pain; pain that I was yet to feel. I shut my eyes tight to embrace my death...
Blackout.
It was dark, my head ached and it felt really heavy. Is this what hell is like? Where is the fire and brimstones? I looked around me, where was i? I wondered how I got there. On impulse, I followed my instinct and took my hand down to feel my manhood; it was right there. I was confused.
“Guy, you don wake?” I heard Bobby ask from the darkness. “...Nepa just take light.” He continued.
“Where am i?”
“You dey your room, idiot! You dey expect to dey London?”
Bobby said he was almost asleep on the couch when he heard a knock on the door; he had opened after several minutes of asking for who was at the door with no response, only to see me lying on the ground there by the door with blood coming out of a cut on my head. I did remember something heavy landing against my head and that was all. Then the whole event of the night came flooding through. I narrated everything to Bobby; he was calm at first and burst into laughter the next minute. For my aching and heavy head, I would have jumped Bobby that very second, I was really that angry at him finding my situation amusing.
“But I bin warn you na, say make you dey careful. Kai! So na like dis your ‘ntata’ for just go?” Was it really funny to him or was he just trying to be a complete jerk? Either ways I was too upset to care which it was, I would still have found it annoying.
Two days later when I felt a lot better and the shock was over with, I made some investigations and was made to understand that I really was one lucky chap; no one have ever messed with Madam Garlic and lived to tell the story. Come to think of it, she was the wife of a known drug baron, killing would come natural to her like popping a caplet of Panadol off its aluminum sachet...at least she must have learnt well from her hubby. But why did she let me go unharmed? I couldn’t have made it to my doorstep on my own; who brought me home? Why did she let me go?
“Oh boy, you dey alive, simple. No dey give yourself headache just because say you wan know why she no cut your ‘johnny’. Just dey careful next time.” those were Bobby’s words to me.
For three days, I had my phones switched off. I stayed off my sugar mummies. Who knows, some of them could be worse than madam garlic. My mind was very much unsettled on that matter. The thought of madam garlic calling me on the phone asking for me again sent shivers down my spine.
The next day, Bobby and I went to Aisha’s house to offload a full truck of goods that she had just ordered. Wasn’t it supposed to be at the shop? Why bring us to her residence. As usual, three soldiers where there standing guard. Guarding against what exactly?
Bobby and I set to work; the soldiers soon lost interest in our boring offloading. They sat in the car, sharing a bottle of liquor. We were just half way into work when Aisha came out and announce loudly that she would want us to bring in the offloaded goods into the store inside. Why the hurry? Shouldn’t it be one at a time? Bobby and I exchanged glances; we did smell fish, a big fat one. Aisha was very careful before the soldiers; she acted and spoke so formal to us. We started moving the loads inside, the soldiers nowhere in sight.
The minute we stepped inside, Aisha pulled Bobby aside; she looked so desperate and anxious. Bobby kept looking in my direction all through their short convo. She walked towards me moments later while Bobby went back to work and sent a wink my way. This better not be what i think it is, I said to myself. I had made up my mind to stay off sugar mummies parole, but then, this was something I had been hoping for for God knows how long. So when Aisha hurriedly led me away by the arm, I saw myself following behind her like a lost sheep.
Inside her bedroom, Aisha talked rather too fast for me to make meaning out of her words. All I picked of all she said was how shy she was and about this been her first time. My mind was divided, one part sounding the warning bell and the other urging me on. Haven’t I been waiting in hope for this moment for so long?
“Please, I want you to keep this between you and i. I will pay you handsomely and make sure you and your friend lack nothing...”
“This is the time to walk away Baron. This is the time. If you stay in here a second longer, there is no going back and you may not be so lucky like you were with Madam Garlic.”
That was my mind screaming at me. I decided to listen to my heart; I looked up to tell Aisha I couldn’t go through with it for I have been staring at the marbled floor all the while. And there, she stood in her glory. She had the sexiest and smoothest body I have ever seen, she had discarded her clothes. There was no way on earth I was going to say ‘no’ to that.
I pulled off my shirt quickly, Aisha gasped as she set her eyes on my bare body like she hadn’t seen them before. She rushed towards me and ran her hands down my chest. There was no time to waste on words, we started kissing; Aisha wasn’t that good a kisser, obviously she has had put up with a boring sex life. Having Aisha in the same room, on the same bed, was nothing short of heaven to me. I quickly got rid of the rest of my clothing, she gasped again with shock on her face. I was going to ask, but she quickly dropped few words.
“Asides the General, I have never set my eyes on any other penis my whole life... And you are way to big compared to...”
What!!! The General must have a peanut for a penis then. I cut her short by drowning her words with a sweet kiss. We had no time to waste on foreplay; I helped her spread her legs apart and moved my waist to impale her...
we heard a loud bang against the door, I startled right there on top of Aisha. I looked over my shoulder, the door was right there on the ground, off the hinges. My eyes rested on the meanest face I have ever seen my entire life, with four soldiers by his side. Aisha looked in the direction of the door.
“General Danjuma!”
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