Black And Yellow

When I heard there was a song called “black and yellow”, I honestly thought that an artist has finally recognised the important of the public transport “DANFO” but I listened to it and twas just some crap about …….. and its weird no Nigerian artiste has come up with something related to that. Well I hear they don’t enter “DANFO”. Such boring people! *yimu*. How can they not enter “DANFO”? Every fun thing happens there.


I got to surulere under this really hot sun and I stood for about 15minutes looking around and waiting for a bus. I saw a guy walking towards me in a jean trouser, Ralph Lauren tshirt and a nice shoe. From the distance, he looked so much like chris brown, fair, handsome, and his hair cut was on point. I looked away to give him time to get to me. After a short while I looked again and I felt I just saw shrek. I looked away and looked at him again to be sure of what I was seeing and the image was now very clear. He was actually wearing a faded jean trouser, his shoe lace was just everywhere, the supposed Ralph laren logo now looked like it was a lion; a huge lion. He so didn’t look like chris brown, it was more of lil wayne and the hair cut I so loved was filled with spotting waves cream. Oh Lord! I felt neaseous. I was in my thoughts and feeling bad for him and myself when I heard ‘costain,cms’.

I turned around and saw the bus approaching, I quickly waved, the bus slowed down and I almost jumped on it just in a bid to make sure the guy doesn’t come close to me. I made sure I was finally seated before I looked back to have the final glance then I heaved a sigh of relief. I thanked God in my heart for saving me from that shrekish image. I looked around to see the faces of the people in the bus just to make sure I am really safe.
My eyes finally got to the conductor. He was smoking, in a bus filled with people. I simply nodded at his stupidity but the old lady seating by me wasn’t just going to nod, she took action. The conductor was just about to lift the cigarette to his lips to inhale the smoke when the lady slapped it out of his hand and mouth. I held my laughter. I just had to. As a Yoruba guy, his first reaction was
“Ah! Kilode!”
The woman sat like she hadn’t done anything.
“Mada-a-a-am!”
The woman looked at him and hissed, the said
“Are you a stupid person?you filled the bus with people and then you started filling our lungs with smoke.” She hissed and ended it with “ode!”
The conductor left his mouth open in the “ah” form. He couldn’t believe it. Then a guy from the last row said
“you no go close your mouth before fly go enter”
That was when my laughter escaped from my lips and everyone in the bus burst out laughing. We were still laughing and the woman said
“driver! I want to come down.”
The driver who was also laughing stopped the bus and she pushed the conductor off the door and got down majestically. Mr conductor was in shock. I don’t know if he was surprised that the lady wasn’t moved by his ruggedness or that she didn’t pay. I got to my bus stop, handed a N50 note and left.