I sat up on the couch and stifled a yawn. My eyes ached from the tears I shed some hours earlier. The night was one of the longest in my entire life; I couldn’t sleep; I kept looking up at the wall clock directly opposite me, hoping for it to strike six ‘o’ clock sooner, but time seemed to have different plan from what I had in mind. I believe it took four hours for ‘thirty minutes’ to stroll by. I stifled yet another yawn, watched Bobby as he held tight, sleepily to his pillow; in a matter of seconds he was going to be awake; I had set the alarm in his phone’s application for six just as he had asked me to.
The alarm went off, so loud that it almost got me upset, and then I remembered I had set it. Bobby jumped up from the bed ; he stared at the offending phone sleepily for some seconds, shut it up and stared at me with wide eyes. I was really not in the mood for words, but knowing Bobby wouldn’t let me be except i said something, I maintained a straight face.
“No be me buy the phone give you”
Bobby shook his head in exasperation;
“Oh boy! I swear, if say this phone na human being, I for nack him head for wall now now” he said in a croaky voice.
“E don reach time wey I go troway this china phone.” he added with all seriousness. No, i was in no mood for conversations; I got off the couch and went for my tooth brush and tooth paste in a cup by the bed, Bobby stood up slowly and followed suite. We both took hold of our brushes, getting the paste out of the tube became an issue; I pressed really hard to get a peanut-sized paste onto my brush, let the empty tube drop to the floor and walked away with an empty iron bucket and headed for the bathroom outside while Bobby stared foolishly at the empty paste tube on the ground.
“Guy, if na like this your own kain roommate go be, e better make you go your house o.” Bobby called after me from inside the room.
“You didn’t expect me to share that little paste with you, did you?” I asked him the second he joined me outside. The weather was really freezing, no early morning crows from the cocks; even chickens felt the cold that morning.
“guy, me and you no plan say you go sleep for here for night, and that paste na wetin I don plan say I go use this morning. So make you no preach give me on top say you use my thing”. Bobby said as he struggled to tear open the plastic tube which held the paste.
“Comot for there! You go always get excuse. Why big boy like you no go get toothpaste for house?”
“If you talk plenty now I go collect the one wey dey your brush.” I quickly stuck the toothbrush in my mouth. I hated that I had to fetch water and take my bath outside in a public bathroom. Oh God! I really missed the shower and bathtub in Godspower’s house.
“Stay thyself off sin! Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, heed me oh you fornicators and adulterers for the kingdom of God is at hand!” came a faint voice from down the street. The voice became louder and the owner sounded closer as she repeatedly cried out the same message. I knew the owner of that voice; everybody in the neighborhood did.
“na to dey shout every morning?
Na una type dey fuck pass.” Bobby adlibbed.
In a failed bid to hold my laughter, I sprayed little amount of spit and quickly held my toothbrush before it left my lips; I proceeded to the bathroom with my half-filled bucket of water.
We all knew Stella; a girl slightly older than we were. She was known for her everyday morning cry, she never missed a day. She was scarred severely on the face which made the youths mock her. They said she is only acting ‘holier than thou’ because she is so ugly that no man cared to take a second look. The truth is that Stella used to be the prettiest girl in her former street. She was really into life; boys and late nights. Her mother was a prayer warrior in one of the redeem churches in that area, but that did not stop Stella from experimenting with whatever was new in fun.
“My mother said I was born to serve God, can you imagine? When I have so much to do with my life?” she had joked with her friends. An accident had occurred; the car they went partying in had summersaulted several times, landing in the bushes. Everybody came out unharmed but herself; she was cut on the face in many places that it required multiple stitches. How that happened, no one knew till date.
In the bathroom, I couldn’t stop thinking; “why is Stella hammering on just fornication and adultery today? And why is she taking so much time on this street?” she seemed to be directing her words at someone in particular;
“It definitely cannot be me. I am not the only fornicator in this neighborhood, nothing compared to Bobby” I said to myself as I shook the thoughts off my head and tried to block her voice from getting to my ears; I began to whistle aloud as I poured cold water down my naked body.
Inside the room at about 7:30am, I listened to Bobby make more jokes off the young morning crier; Stella. I tried as much as possible to laugh to his every joke, but Bobby knew I was not just feeling alright. And, yes! He was right, I had just lost my mother and the jokes weren’t helping in anyway. My laughter meant more or less “Bobby look, am already laughing at your jokes, can you now shut up? Please?”
“Look, I know what to do.” Bobby said, picking up his phone and dialing a number.
“hello mary,... how you dey? You fit come my side?...” he listened to the receiver with a frown. “Okay na, comot for my phone!” he ended the call. He dialed another number.
“hello, oluchi?...abeg forget that one, na past tense. You fit show my side?...wetin you mean by say e too early? Na me you dey form for? Abeg gerrout!” he ended the call again. He looked at me for a second;
“Imagine Oluchi dey form responsible give me.”
I didn’t need to ask why he was calling those girls; I have met them before and I knew who they were. He tried three more numbers and had to end the call like the former ones.
“...you think say you fine? I call you because...hello...hello?...”. Bobby took the phone off his ear and stared at me in disbelief. “Juliet cut call for my ear!”
I couldn’t stop laughing, and at that moment, it was for real. He was going to hang-up on her the minute he was done yelling; she had made a reverse of the case and he couldn’t take a dose of his own prescription.
Finally, he was able to convince one of his girls to come along with her friend that morning. We had less than four hours to be at the supermarket, yet we had time for frivolities. Deep inside one of the girls that I do not even know her name, I had thoughts rushing through my head, beads of sweat forming on my forehead from the ‘exercise’. Barely a day that I had lost my mum; look what I was doing; what a way to mourn a lost loved one. On an apologetic note, I must say, the sex did help relax my mind. Really? Did it? I do not need to tell you that Stella’s chants kept replaying in my head as we walked up the street towards the supermarket;
“Stay thyself off sin! Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, heed me oh you fornicators and adulterers...” I tried vehemently to shake the voice off my head.
We did get to the supermarket that morning to finish up work with Mrs. Aisha, where I met Madam Angela and my life changed, never to remain the same forever; in a bad way.
...and until next week, yours sincerely, Baron Chidalu.
Chidera Reginald.
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